We oftentimes fail to recognize when Satan is attacking us. I am going to share something that has been going on in my life, and how the Holy Spirit led to overcome it.
Something had been off with me for a couple of weeks while I was at school. I doubt many people realized it because I tend to internalize things. I just wasn't as focused on bringing joy and serving others and didn't have the same passion and desire to worship God like I usually do. I just felt like I was in a funk and I couldn't figure out the reason for it. So I remember talking to Elyse on the phone and talking to her about it a little bit. She was laughing at me because I think she knew how frustrated I was. I tried to think maybe it was me struggling with relationships, or not having ministry responsibilities that I am accustomed to, or maybe I just had too much free time on my hand. I still enjoyed being around my friends and everything was fine, but something just wasn't right.
So I go home for two weeks for break. I had so much fun and it was great to be around family and friends. Something still wasn't right with me though. I was getting in the word but just had a hard time staying focused and getting stuff out of it. I analyze myself a lot and it was messing me up trying to figure out why I felt the way I did. I had been praying about it for a few weeks.
Then last night it hit me. I had tried to justify the way I was feeling with everything imaginable and it was Satan that was telling me these lies. Before I went to bed the Holy Spirit convicted me of the sin I was struggling with. Now I am going to be vague because I don't want to post it on a public forum, but when the Holy Spirit revealed this to me I immediately knew this was the source of my struggle. Satan led my mind to believe that something I wasn't doing was okay and it kept me from living in the holiness of God. Once I prayed God has forgiven me and just rejuvenated my spirit. I just want to say that if something isn't right with your soul, ask God deeply for truth. Pray that He will reveal it so you can conquer it. All day today my spirit has just felt so fresh and good again.
I know this isn't the most helpful thing due to lack of specificity, but it is something I needed to get off my chest. And Satan can fool you into thinking everything is okay when you know deep down it isn't. Because I felt completely normal, especially around friends, but something was just out of place. So constantly seek to be holy and combat whatever you are warring against. Because I promise once you give it to God it is such a liberating feeling.
I love you guys so much. Thanks so much to my family, friends, and church for making me feel so loved when I came home. Ya'll are a huge part of my life. Always rely on God and seek Him for answers. It may seem overwhelming, but just try to learn a little more each day. And if you just chip away I promise you will fall more in love with your Savior then you ever thought imaginable. Let me know if you ever need anything or have prayer requests!
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